it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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