Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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