no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
