butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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