I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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