Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
