the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize