butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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