I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
