Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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