I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
