Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
