We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
