I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
