i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
