I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
