'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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