just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We need to get me chipped asap
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
