Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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