You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Sorry about my life...
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize