My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Randomize
