there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
