okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
