I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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