Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
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