I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
