thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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