i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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