Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Randomize