Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
