hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
