at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
