It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
