he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
