.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
