This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
