Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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