allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I wish you could order shots online.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
