i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
