But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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