On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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