It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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