were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
