ugly people sure do ruin things
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize