'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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