just come out here and I will go home with you...
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize