Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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