In the future we'll all be gay
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
