I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
