Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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