It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
