It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
