And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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