it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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