Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
