i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
