You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
