yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
